Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
