Grow some girl-balls and come out already
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize