She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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