Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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