His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
