I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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