there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I love you. Go after that dick
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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