We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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