I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
