No period for spring break; use this wisely.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
where are my eyebrows?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
