using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
