Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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