Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
