evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize