hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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