Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
