We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's just so happy...and so naked.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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