my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
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I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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