:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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