i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
