i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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