Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
