i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
50% drunk capacity currently
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
