Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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