Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She bit a glass in half.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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