Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
