Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
