so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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