Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
whose ass print is on the piano?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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