hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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