is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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