just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
