i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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