While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
