No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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