Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
