Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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