I didn't shave. On purpose
Farmville is her only friend.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
