Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
