I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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