you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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