Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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