So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
she peed on how many people?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
