I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
