Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
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There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
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we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.