Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.