We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
im holly from the hills drunk
this just has baby written all over it
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Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
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She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"