Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
