He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
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I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
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These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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