Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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