Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
