I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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