thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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