She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
