I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
