He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
