I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
