Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
