This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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