dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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