omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
